The Zombie Theories (Book 3): Conversion Theory Read online

  Remo looked the weapon over and shook his head. “Too slow.”

  “Is that what you think?” Javi had said with a smile, and we began talking about other shit.

  I got the feeling from the many conversations I had with these folks that these were good people, and they thought the same of us.

  At noon on day five, Matt and Deek came strolling up to Ship and I as we were working on a stuck water pump. He stood there, hesitant for a second as I wiped my face. Ship folded his tree-trunk arms expectantly.

  “Why don’t you folks stay on here?” Deek asked quickly. “We could use you, and you’re safer here than on the road.”

  Ship and I looked at each other, then back at our host.

  “Deek, I’m a shit-magnet. Wherever I go, bad things happen.”

  He reached into his vest and brought out a beat-up, many times folded, laminated piece of paper, which he handed to me. “Shit like this?”

  I knew what it was before he passed it over. I glanced at the paper, which had a picture of guess who on it with the word REWARD at the bottom. Ship put his hand on his sidearm, an act which didn’t go unnoticed by Deek. I smiled and so did both Matt and Deek.

  Deek looked at me, then up at Ship. “I wouldn’t have asked you to stay if I thought you were dangerous.” His expression changed for a moment. “You aren’t, are you? Dangerous I mean?”

  I handed my wanted poster back to him. “That’s the point, my horse-riding friend: I am. I won’t hurt anybody here, and I would probably die to protect you all, but at some point, either the infected or the assholes will come knocking.”

  “We have guns too,” Matt said, “and we can deal with whatever comes directly if we need to. Way I see it, we’re all on borrowed time. Eventually, that herd, which has been wandering the scrub, is gonna find us, then we’ll have to fight ‘em off. No different than coyotes comin’ for the chickens.”

  “It’s a little different,” I told him. “We’ll think about it.”

  “Offer’s good forever, so take your time,” Deek said. He tipped his hat (no shit!) and they strode off.

  Later in the day, our crew got together. As a group, we were discussing whether or not to stay, when Dix showed up with Darcy and Javi. The men were both in their late thirties, but where Dix was a big guy, with eternally tanned and weathered skin, graying brown hair and a bit of a belly, Javi was wiry and quick, with the olive complexion of Mexican descent. They worked well together in everything they did, and I could see they were best friends. Darcy was young and pretty, with short auburn hair and she liked to talk. Her boyfriend, Mike, was on gate duty with Clint and Jake. I hadn’t really talked to those other three guys; they were usually on gate duty, or night duty and sleeping during the day.

  Javi spoke to Remo, “You wanna see who’s faster now?”

  Remo, leaning against a doorframe, just nodded. We talked as we moved to their little shooting range. Richy and Chloe had popped off some rounds down here to practice, but none of the rest of us had yet. Dix set up six paint cans on six posts, and the two boys got ready.

  “Feel free,” Javi said to Remo with a smile. Remo drew his Sig and fired off six quick shots, hitting every can. As with all things Remo, it was perfect.

  Dix ran out and set the paint cans up again.

  “Feel free,” Remo echoed with a hint of a smile.

  In one motion, Javi thrust his hips forward into this weird position, drew his weapon, and fired. I heard two shots before he fanned his hand over the hammer firing four more shots. All six cans were down and the weapon was back in the holster in less than two seconds. Keep in mind, this was a single action revolver.

  Remo’s smile vanished. “Holy shit,” was all he said and he stuck his hand out to Javi, who shook it.

  The gunfire is probably what drew it. It must have slipped past the barbed wire and somehow climbed over the dirt wall. Nobody saw it and it didn’t make a sound until it was three feet away from us. For a group of people living with the undead for a year and change, we were pretty complacent sometimes. This could have been disastrous, but the stupid thing let out one of those rasps as it shuffled toward us. About ten billion guns pointed at the thing, but Kat was the quickest, and she had a bolt-action rifle.

  Dix was on the radio in an instant. “Mike! Mike, come in!”

  Keep your hair on, I’m here. What’s on fire?

  Dix furrowed his brow in worry. “You have trouble near the gate? We got one in here, it was all the way up to the range.”

  Naw, nothin’. Jake n’ Clint are out on a perimeter run. Been gone a half hour.

  Dix, this is Clint, said a new voice. We see where it came over. We were just about to call it in. It was more than one by the looks of it too. A couple or three at least. We’re on the wire side of the moat, and I’m not liking it out here right now. Gonna need some repair on this part of the wall too, the embankment has caved into the trench.

  “Want to ride up to the bob-wire and check to see if the herd is in sight? I got a bad feelin’.”

  Will do, Dix. We’ll check in in fifteen.

  “Okay, folks, we should get back to the house. We’ll make sure everybody is safe, then we’ll go lookin’ for the strays.”

  We moved as a large group back to the main house. Clint called in as we were arriving, Herd is a mile off outside the fence and moving west. Anybody talk to James and Daniel?

  James and Daniel? Who the fuck are James and Daniel?

  “Who are James and Daniel?” I asked.

  “They’re more free spirited than us. They don’t sleep in the house much and they’ve been out checking Doolittle for parts at the Tractor Supply for a couple days.”

  Dix told Clint that he hadn’t spoken to them, and he slung his radio. The front door opened and Matt stepped out with a shotgun, locking the door behind him. “House is buttoned up, everybody’s accounted for and Kelly and Stacy are watching Kate. Deek is gonna coordinate from here and we call back in. C’mon, let’s figure out what to do.”

  “Richy and Chloe,” Remo began, “you two—”

  “—are coming,” I finished. “Make sure your weapons are loaded up and on safe.”

  Yeah, like anybody in this world didn’t have a loaded weapon these days. Remo was looking at me funny. “Don’t mean to step on the toes of a jarhead,” I told him, “but they need as much real life practice as possible. If there are only a few inside the wall, we’ll take care of them as a group.”

  Both kids looked at me and nodded. God help me, they looked ready.

  “Darcy,” Matt started, “I want you on the top deck with a pair of binocs and a radio. You’ll have height and range. Call ‘em out if you see ‘em.” Darcy used a key to unlock the door and entered into the house. “Your people with you and mine with me, okay?”

  Matt had been speaking to me.

  I counted heads. “There are eleven of us. Five and six sounds better than eight and three, plus you three know this place way better than we do. We’ll take Dix, and you take Alvarez, Remo, and Ship.” Both Remo and Ship looked at me funny, so I looked back funny. “What? You pissy because I get all the girls? Nut up, we’ll be fine.” I nodded to Dix. “You lead the way, my friend.”

  Like in every horror movie in the history of mankind, we split up, and like in every horror movie, there was a scare. I had thought we would be safe in groups of five or more. I was wrong.

  The first place our group checked was the barn. The horses made a bit of noise, and Dix told me the horses were the lifeblood of this place. I could see why. When we were a hundred feet away, a couple of the beasts started going ballistic, so we hurried. Sure enough, two of the dead fuckers were reaching through the stall bars at one of the horses. This particular horse had a strong disdain for the undead, and was kicking the stall door. Dix raised his rifle (It was a Henry rifle I had learned, but that didn’t mean shit to me), but I put my hand on the barrel. He looked at me and I nodded No.

  “Richy,” I said loudly, “you g
et the one on the right, Chloe the left.” Both pus bags looked at us when I spoke. Chloe aimed her pistol, but Richy holstered his and drew the combat dagger that he had appropriated from one of the corpses of the douches who had attacked us when we got off of the Mary’s Joy. I was impressed at his intestinal fortitude.

  That hacking rasp that they do still gives me the willies, and as both rotters were making that sound, there was no shortage of shivers down my spine. The sound of the shot from Chloe’s M9 echoed in the barn, and the horses, who were already going nuts, got louder. The infected on the left crumpled. The one on the right came on strong, walking all fucked up with this weird hip thrust. It had no lower jaw, with strings of flesh and who knows what hanging from it, but it could still infect this boy I had come to love if something bad happened. We all had our weapons on it as Richy stepped forward, no fear on his face at all.

  The thing lunged at the same distance they always lunge from. When they’re fifteen feet away, they’re slow as fuck, but when they’re within grabbing distance, they turn into lightning fast predators, if only for one burst. The creature used this burst to clutch at Richy, but he deftly sidestepped, and the pus bag fell forward. The kid kicked out with his boot, the toe catching the thing under its already smashed face and sinking into the soft palate slightly. It was stunned for a second, and the boy jammed the knife into the socket of its missing right eye. Richy turned the knife a couple of times, going for the scramble, and the thing, which stunk to high heaven by the way, collapsed.

  Richy looked back at us, smiling, then yanked his weapon and leaned back down to use the dead thing’s pants to wipe his blade.

  In truly spectacular fashion, the re-killed thing sat up, grabbed the kid, and bit him on the forearm. Initially scared, like you would be if you saw a spider on your arm, Richy gave a little panicked yelp. He recovered quickly, and laughed as he shoved the stinking thing away and gave a stab to its good eye, again going for the scramble.

  I made it to the boy and the dead thing first, yanking the kid up and checking his arm. There was no bite. How could it bite him with no lower jaw, Dear Reader? That feeling of both relief and stupidity you have right now? Yeah, mine was worse because I was there. Plus, I will neither confirm nor deny the code brown that may or may not have happened in my skivvies. I turned his arm over a few times in my hand, wiping it and looking for broken skin. There were no fluids or marks of any kind.

  Last fucking time I send my kids to kill a zombie when I can do it. If I lived that was. I glanced at Donna and she was about to blow her top when the infected sat up again and Dix blew its head off. The damn Rasputin of zombies.

  “He’s fine!” I pleaded to everyone. “He’s not bitten.”

  Chloe walked up to the one she had shot and shot it again. “Just in case.”

  Dix’s radio squawked at us, Dix! Dix, we heard shots! Everybody okay? It was Matt.

  “Yeah, we’re good. The kids,” he both looked at me and emphasized kids, “took care of two dead ones. You find any yet?”

  Nothing yet. Some tracks but we lost them in the grass. Daniel would have them already if he was here.

  “We’ll keep looking,” Dix said and slung his radio.

  We searched for the rest of the day, but came up with nothing but a filthy, bloody piece of cloth on one of the tractor fenders. That meant at least one of the damn things was still inside the perimeter. Matt tried to use Rusty, Dusty, and a couple horses to sniff the bastard out, but they came up empty.

  Sitting around the dinner table, with our chicken enchiladas finished, Remo was turning Richy’s arm over in his hand just as I had done. The marine was livid.

  “You’re some special kind of stupid, aren’t you?” Remo said with menace.

  Nobody said anything, so I had to ask, “Me?”

  “He could have been killed. Did you think about that? He’s a kid.”

  I put my fork down and took a breath. “If he’s a kid, he’s dead. If you’re weak, you’re dead. If you hesitate, you’re dead. I asked him to kill that fucking thing because he could have been killed.” I could see Remo was still seething, and it pissed me off even more so I continued. “They’ve been trained by us. By you.” I pointed at the jarhead. “What happens if we’re all dead tomorrow except Richy and Chloe? Then who’s going to kill the bad guys or the infected for them? I’ll tell you something else too,” now I thumbed at the kids, “they did better than six billion other people on the fucking planet. Those six billion are dead and these two are alive.” I didn’t want to go all red-eye in front of these new people, but my ire was rising.

  Donna put her hand on my shoulder and I gently removed it, smiling at her. I glared at Remo. ”If there’s somebody out there that can give better training than what you, Alvarez, and Ship have provided, I need you to point that fucker out, because I want him on the team.” With that I stood, pushed my chair back, and grabbed my plate for the sink.

  “Him too,” Kate said and took my plate.

  I smiled at her. “Thank you, Kate.”

  “You’re very welcome.” She turned to put the dish in the sink and I turned to storm out. I about faced and put my hand on her shoulder.

  “Kate, why do you keep saying ‘Him too’ in regards to me?”

  She smiled even wider and reached for me. It shocked me a little so I took a half step back and she stopped reaching, her hand extended part way between us. She laughed a little and said, “It’s okay,” then continued to reach. I let her touch me, and she pulled the collar of my T-shirt down. She nodded, then tapped on the wicked scar of the healing bite wound on my arm. I didn’t get it until she pulled up her shirt, exposing her left side all the way up to her bra.

  A circular pattern, which could be nothing else but a bite mark, adorned the skin over her left side ribs. It was clearly healed.

  She took a deep breath and stepped in for a hug. “Me too.”

  To the Rescue

  “Yes, Deek, they experimented on me. They stuck needles in every place you can think of. And yeah, I mean every place.” Every guy in the room made the same face, and Dix crossed his legs. “This is why they want me, and this is why you can never tell anybody, anybody, about Kate. Ever.”

  Deek and Kelly, who were the official masters of this place, looked at each other. “But couldn’t your blood save the world or something?” Kelly asked.

  I shook my head. “I was in that underground hell-hole, being jabbed and studied for a long time, by all kinds of doctors. Not only did they not get my blood to do anything special, but they couldn’t discern any differences between my blood and the blood of a normal person. Actually, at the time I was in Baldy Mountain, the doctors had no idea what the hell was causing all of this.” I spread my arms wide. “They couldn’t find any type of virus or weird bacteria in any of the infected.” I got blank stares. “They didn’t know shit.”

  We talked for another couple of hours about surviving bites, what that meant, and who was after me. It wasn’t until Darcy came in to tell Deek there was a radio call for him that we stopped. He came back into the great room quickly, looking nervous. We all stared at him expectantly.

  He took a deep breath. “James and Daniel are trapped by a herd of them things in the Hidalgo County Courthouse in Edinburgh. Daniel says they got enough water for one more day, but they’re out of ammo.”

  Dix, Javi, Alvarez, and I all stood.

  “Let’s go get them,” I said.

  Deek sighed. “Son, I can’t ask you—”

  I cut him off with a play from Matt’s book. “You didn’t. We’re volunteering.”

  The light from the window was eclipsed by Ship’s seven-0foot stature as he stood. He signed one word to me: No.

  “We have to, buddy.” I shrugged.

  He scribbled in his book and passed it to me. We have to, you don’t. You must live, and you are constantly throwing yourself into dangerous situations. It has to stop. I’m putting my foot down. He signed again, No.

  I sig
ned back with one finger. This was not the sign language equivalent of yes, but it got my point across.

  I smiled. “You’re putting your foot down? Like you’re my mom? Were you not listening for the past hour? They couldn’t figure it out, Ship. They had the best equipment and doctors from USAMRIID and the CDC. I’m the same as you. I’m not throwing my life away. I’m going to go help some folks. I’m fucking good at it. I’m good at saving people, you should know.” He held his hand out for his book and I tucked it under my arm. “Shut up. You and Remo are coming with me, Dix, and Javi. Matt and Deek will watch over everybody else, and Alvarez and Kat will help Mike and Clint find the stray fucker that’s inside the fence someplace.” I hadn’t raised my voice one little bit. I didn’t need to get angry again, but I’m not going to be put on a pedestal, never to help people in need because somebody thinks I have the cure to all this shit inside me. I don’t give a shit if it’s selfish.

  “I have to go apologize to the toughest marine alive. Uhhh… come with me?” I returned his book to him. Ship nodded slowly. We went to find Remo.

  “Really? I mean, fucking really?” I passed the binoculars back to Dix, who passed them back to Remo. The jarhead shook his head and sighed. Ship made no sound at all. Shocker there.

  We were stretched out on our bellies under the collapsed awning of the completely looted Stripes Convenience Store, and it was still fucking hot in the shade. What we looked at was nothing short of spectacular. The two guys we had come to save had drawn a crowd of several thousand undead. This particular swarm rivaled the one that had attacked Keesler AFB when I was a resident there. I was doing the math in my head, and several thousand would be better described as tens of thousands. It looked like Fenway Park on Memorial Day. All the damn zombies were the fans, and the courthouse was the field. The infected were two hundred deep in a circle around the building. All of the first-floor windows in the courthouse were destroyed, and we could see infected on the second and third floors through those windows. The structure was five stories high, and completely infested. A small annex was to the left of our vantage, and that was where the boys were.